I'm caving to the pressure. I start to rationalize that in this one little aspect I can perform an act that would make me feel more settled but it's just me losing to addiction. My brain hates me. It wants me to fail. But I'm going to succeed. I want to scream, I'm losing. That statement scares me, I believe it but I don't want it to be true. But I'm not going to lose. God please be my accountability partner and protect me from this evil. I may be strong but I've been weak for 22 years and a week of success makes the next 22 years seem scary. I have a headache. I feel anxious. I'm thinking about my addiction. I'm writing a blog. I really want to feed my addiction.
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